It has been roughly over a month since I have written anything. To be honest, I completely forgot about my lovely little blog till this morning. I am that kind of person it seems.
I have moved into my place. I have to say it feels more like home over the previous apartment. I have gone by the apartment building a couple times. I don’t feel any longing to be there. I don’t feel any sadness. I feel anger towards it due to the horrible managers that ran that place and treated me terribly. I don’t miss my neighbor who was from jail and apart of a government funded program of re-introducing previously incarcerated men back into society. I never felt safe there and that is why my dad had to install a dead bolt on my door just weeks after I moved in a year ago.
In this new place I have the comfort of knowing my landlord and his family are upstairs. They check in with me via text or if I happen to be in the backyard with the dog. It’s nice having that sort of relationship with a person since you are staying in their basement. That is also the thing, it doesn’t feel like a basement. I feel like I am in a condo because of how beautifully renovated the unit is. It’s so much space for me to just do what I want to do and not feel confined like the previous place where everything was so boxed in.
Things I have learned since moving is that I hate moving. I am great at packing and organizing but if someone asks me to move a box I will find something else to do. I just don’t like lifting. It’s not my thing.
I also feel more like an adult because I do have my own space, my own bills and a place that I can call a home. I don’t plan on leaving any time soon because of how great the unit is and the neighborhood. The next time I move will be into my own house. That is my plan!
I have been on a rampage all day with this whole Presto Card and OC Transpo nonsense.
If you are a person who takes transit to and from work, you are familiar with PRESTO and that you load your card with money and tap it when you get on the bus. You very well know it takes 24 hours for your card to load BUT you don’t know this till you get on the bus and tap it.
I loaded my card on Saturday evening knowing I won’t be using this card until Monday morning, well over the 24 hour time that is noted on each confirmation email you are sent 20 minutes after adding funds.
I get onto the bus first, in front of 12 other people for my card to read NOT ENOUGH FUNDS on the red screen. I try to tape it again and the drivers shouts at me that there isn’t enough funds and to stop taping it. I get defensive and pull out the email from Saturday saying there is money. The driver continues to shout at me saying it takes 24-48 hours for the funds to read on the card. WHERE DID THIS 48 HOUR RULE COME FROM NOW?! After the driver scolded me further he let me have a seat on the bus. I was overly embarrassed and couldn’t wait to get off the bus.
This is not the first time it has happened to be. I put on $50 last month two days in advance knowing that it again takes 24 hours for it to read not enough funds the next day. This is when I still had $10 on the card and loaded $50 more on to it. The driver this time shouted at me as HE WAS DRIVING AWAY and telling me to get off the bus. I got off the bus alright, in a thunderstorm.
I am emailed OC Transpo with the complaint of the rudeness of the driver from this morning and also Presto as to what the correct answer is to the wait time of funds to be on my pass.
As a person with anxiety you want to stay on top of this so you don’t have to go through this or seeing that red screen. It’s the same with worrying your bank card being declined when you know you have money.
I am very displeased with the actions that OC Transpo has taken and the lack of response I have been given towards my complaint as I would like for it to be taken seriously.
I was fat shamed twice this morning before it even hit 7:15am.
I am wearing a black skirt that hits just above my knee, a tucked in green tank top, a sweater and hair of knee high brown boots. I was feeling pretty confident today because it was the first time I wasn’t hiding my body behind leggings and long over sized shirts.
I was heading to my bus and I see a familiar couple waiting at the bus stop. I see that they are looking at me and talking to themselves. I am not bothered by it because people talk to one another all the time. It wasn’t until I stand next to them that the wife tells her husband that people my size shouldn’t be wearing the clothes I am because is shows ever lump and bump. I was mortified. I never had people talk about my size before let alone say it loud enough for me to hear it. I get on the bus and move on.
20 minutes later…
I just grabbed my coffee and was walking to my next bus stop to grab my connecting bus. My skirt has a mind of its own and decided to just hike up a little bit. I wasn’t able to adjust because I was walking and had a cup of coffee in my hands. The next thing I hear is a woman saying “excuse me” over and over until I realize she is talking to me. She wanted to politely point out that I should pull down my skirt because the sight of my thighs is not flattering and she just continues walking. I stop dead and happen to look in the window of a store to see myself and that’s when my self esteem joined the trash on the ground.
I have never had people openly comment on my size nor bring it to my attention. I sat here at my desk for the past 20 minutes crying and ruining whatever makeup I applied this morning. I do have insecurities about my body but I have never had them pointed out to me by strangers. I was fat shamed. I never thought that I would be fat shamed.
Once it happens to you all your judgement about yourself goes out the window. You feel broken down, beaten and emotionally wrecked. I didn’t have a snarky comeback that I would have if a man called me unattractive or was upset because I rejected his advances. I was ready for this. No one is ever ready for this.
I have recently joined up with online dating and nothing has changed! It has been two years since I removed myself from putting myself online to draw attention of the opposite sex. I still see the exact same thing now as I did back then:
Men posing with dogs or other animals because ” chicks love dogs”
Men posting with children because ” chicks love kids”
Men not know how to take a decent selfie or get someone take a picture for them so they attempt themselves resulting in a picture that shows their eye and left nostril…sexy.
Out of the 9 men I have matched with this morning one two have messaged me, the rest I assume are waiting for me to message them and to be honest I would but why do I have to initiate everything? If you liked my profile first and I happened to like your second, message me, it’s your turn!
Conversations will either just end because you don’t have anything to talk about or the guy asks you what your underwear looks like.. I just don’t see why they have to do that?! Why can’t they just get to know a girl before getting all pervy about it?
I am still going to keep up with the online dating and see what other outcomes I get. This is both for my social life and now a social experiment.
I loved my apartment in the beginning, which doesn’t seem so long ago. It was cute, it was my first apartment. Got a good deal for it but now….but now…
My neighbor is a one man band that likes to play the electric piano, guitar, drums, and now bongos at all hours of the night. Like this morning, at 4am…jamming away on that damn piano. Yes, my landlords are aware. Yes, they told me if it bothered me to call bylaw. Yes, I called bylaw…6 times now in the past 9 months.
My landlords never come and fix anything. I am still waiting for new closet doors, a drawer to be fixed, the ant problem from that won’t go away because my other neighbors have ant problem, my lining of my bedroom window is completely gone so it’s been real cold this winter.
Children being allowed to run up and down the hallways screaming and knocking on my door and running away.
People smoke in the HALLWAYS OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX!
Other then that it’s o.k I guess. I mean, I did well for my first time living alone but come on! Half of the people living in my building don’t have jobs and smoke weed all day while the government pays for them to sit at home and smoke weed all day. I know they do because they smoke in the hallways of the apartment instead of inside so when they have their monthly visit from their social worker there isn’t any evidence of it in the apartment… I know this because they told me the other night when we were standing outside because someone set their kitchen on fire and well we had to wait for the fire department to tell us we could go in.
I find out officially on Monday if I get this new place or not. Either way, can not wait to get out of there.
One of things I really do not like dealing with is banking. Having to call people, access accounts and all that. I wish that I could have all my money under my mattress…then again I really don’t like my building so I would have to find a different mattress.
I am currently on hold with my bank as I cannot use my credit card to put money on my bus pass for me to use. Considering I usually speak to someone right away and there is a hold of 5-10 minutes, some sh*t is going down right now.
I don’t want to be adulting at 8:30pm. I want to be in bed with a bowl of popcorn and enjoying my netflix!
I have done some serious adulting lately with insurance and getting things done for two weddings I am in this summer. There has also been some serious date nights with the boyfriend that involved me dressing like an adult and acting like one, which was nice mind you!
I find it difficult to be treated like an adult when I look like I should be deciding on what prom dress I should be wearing in the spring.
I am cursed/blessed with the face of a teenager but the internal organs of an adult approaching 30. I try my hardest to change my hair, my clothes and my attitude but when someone at a coffee shop tries to cut in front of me and says ” the kid can wait, I have to get to a meeting”… I am not a kid, sir! I am a grown ass woman that just happens to be below average height for my age and still gets carded for vodka!
I don’t know if I need to start going all ” Devil Wears Prada ” on people or simply gain the confidence and attitude Miranda has. I know it’s a weird character to idolize for confidence but seriously…she got what she needed done!
I work in business environment so I dress the part but you can’t tell that on a stormy winter day… I just want to be taken seriously!
Sigh, this is going to be an interesting challenge for a few more years!
As you can tell, I am getting the hang of actually writing things and you know..posting them.
The year has ended and I am so grateful for all the adventures and challenges that came my way in 2016.
I got to go on a vacation and see my best friend from college in Victoria, BC. I left my job of 2.5 years to start a new career as an admin to be let go 6 months later due to reasons that are of their own. I was scooped up by another amazing team which they allow me to branch out with my photography and graphic design which is my true background.
I moved into my own apartment and have been there for 6 months. I love my apartment more than one person should love an apartment. I also got a puppy who is 5 months and is the sunshine in my life. I also got a boyfriend, but you know..puppy.
There was some downs for sure especially loosing my pseudo aunt to cancer right before Christmas. She is no longer suffering and that is the important thing. She was surrounded by the people she loved and loved her when she passed.
I am excited to see what 2017 brings. I don’t really have any big plans like vacation. I mostly have lists of things I want to accomplish and see where that takes me.
Hello everyone and Merry Christmas and soon to be New Year!
I just finished giving my puppy a bath and now he is running around like a lunatic and that got me to thinking, the holidays make people go crazy!
I know personally that I was super cranky and irritable and about to go crazy by day 4 of my holidays. If I wasn’t getting dressed, stock piling gifts into a bag and chasing my dog to get him crated I was planning on getting dressed, stock piling gifts into a bag and just chasing my dog.
The holidays are great and all but I am ready for them to be over. I love my family, my friends and all the blessings that this Christmas season had to give but to be honest I just want to go back to work and get away from massive meals, recycling and alcohol. I have been none stop go go go since the 22nd and I am ready to throw my towel in!
My boyfriend and I have decided to have a New Years Eve in which is fine by me because I just want to be lazy for a weekend. I don’t want to glam up to go eat a meal to come home and take it all off two hours later. I am totally find being in some comfy pjs, throw on a movie, pour some wine and just lounge on my perfect organized, colour coordinated couch.
If there is anyone else that feels this way, please tell me how much you are excited to go back to work!
I was pondering the amount of cleaning and tidying that I want to do this evening, when it hit me. I love my apartment too much! I am constantly finding ways to make it my own even more. Changing pictures, moving furniture, even contemplating changing light bulbs so the lighting contrast is all the same… Yes, that may be too far.
I am always finding things to change to make my home feel more like home. I am constantly searching on IKEA to add to my little apartment and making plans and lists.
I am currently updating my living room so that there is more room. I am in desperate need of an ottoman so that people can rest their feet on something when they are on my couch, rather than my coffee table. Not going to name names but someone is very naughty and tends to put their feet on my table.
I am also trying to make things more minimal looking as well. With having so much surface space on the coffee table and as well as the t.v unit I just constantly drop things there and don’t think twice about it. Reducing that will make things look constantly tidy instead of me always cleaning…though that is going to happen…I vacuum at least twice a week, depending.
My living room is my focal point really because of the fact that I spend most of my time there compared to my bedroom like back at my parents place. I want to get the layout and furniture nailed down before I continue with anything else. I did finally finish one wall of artwork which I am pretty please about and now working on the wall above my couch. That is a work in progress because I don’t have all the art work I want right now. I am particular about what I want seen and how it’s presented.
I think my next challenge is going to be the dining room since it is right next to the living room. It’s has a mix of black and white features but I want to bring it more to the lighters side so there will be some frame painting and replacing going on. Also the horrendous yellow lighting from the ceiling fan does not help at all! Yuck!
Lastly the bedroom will be more of my oasis if you will. I want to make it very comfortable and my escape please. I am looking into getting a tapestry, which is a new trend that I found on Urban Outfitters, that I want to put somewhere in my room. I want to hang some little lights around the bed, get some more jewelry holders that attach to the wall to display some of my pieces that I love.
Not everything is going to be done at once but it surely will get done. I am going to be in this apartment for a while so I want to make it my space.