I was fat shamed twice this morning before it even hit 7:15am.
I am wearing a black skirt that hits just above my knee, a tucked in green tank top, a sweater and hair of knee high brown boots. I was feeling pretty confident today because it was the first time I wasn’t hiding my body behind leggings and long over sized shirts.
I was heading to my bus and I see a familiar couple waiting at the bus stop. I see that they are looking at me and talking to themselves. I am not bothered by it because people talk to one another all the time. It wasn’t until I stand next to them that the wife tells her husband that people my size shouldn’t be wearing the clothes I am because is shows ever lump and bump. I was mortified. I never had people talk about my size before let alone say it loud enough for me to hear it. I get on the bus and move on.
20 minutes later…
I just grabbed my coffee and was walking to my next bus stop to grab my connecting bus. My skirt has a mind of its own and decided to just hike up a little bit. I wasn’t able to adjust because I was walking and had a cup of coffee in my hands. The next thing I hear is a woman saying “excuse me” over and over until I realize she is talking to me. She wanted to politely point out that I should pull down my skirt because the sight of my thighs is not flattering and she just continues walking. I stop dead and happen to look in the window of a store to see myself and that’s when my self esteem joined the trash on the ground.
I have never had people openly comment on my size nor bring it to my attention. I sat here at my desk for the past 20 minutes crying and ruining whatever makeup I applied this morning. I do have insecurities about my body but I have never had them pointed out to me by strangers. I was fat shamed. I never thought that I would be fat shamed.
Once it happens to you all your judgement about yourself goes out the window. You feel broken down, beaten and emotionally wrecked. I didn’t have a snarky comeback that I would have if a man called me unattractive or was upset because I rejected his advances. I was ready for this. No one is ever ready for this.