Valentine’s Day

Hey there everyone,

If you are like me, you are not really for the hype of Valentine’s Day. I did wish certain people a Happy Valentine’s Day, congratulated my friends on their plans, hyped up people for their date outfits, but I just don’t have any emotional or mental ties to the 14th of February. The only real tie that I had to it was that it is my paternal grandmother’s birthday and she passed 5 years ago.

My Valentine’s Day was spent working away at the office, having some good laughs with other admins and having great chats with my boss. When it came time for me to go home, I packed up my things and made my way to my bus stop. That’s where all the fun begins. The bus is packed because it was late (if you know OC Transpo as much as I do… yesterday was an awful day) and the person next to me was so intoxicated they were passed out and I checked to make sure they were breathing several times. I got to the connecting station for my next bus to get me home. I have two options of buses so I just check the times and choose which ever is coming first. I usually have to wait roughly 20 minutes tops for a bus. Last night I waited an hour and fifteen minutes for a bus to get me home and the bus I took was an additional 25 minute ride as it took all the backroads of my area because reaching my final stop. I spent almost 3 hours trying to get home from work. By the time I got home I was so done in that I couldn’t function as a human being. I wanted to end the day right after spending that many hours with strangers.

I decided to light some candles, make myself a delicious dinner, put on some music and sat down at my kitchen island and just enjoyed a nice 20 minutes to myself for the sake of my sanity and to also have my own personal Valentine’s Day. Now, I have had some romantic Valentine’s Days in my life, I have also had some sh*t Valentine’s Days in my life as well but last night’s will be absolutely memorable because I spent it with someone special; myself.

Taking that 20 minutes out of my day, after doing so much and being exhausted trying to get home meant so much to me because I felt calm and relaxed when I made my way to bed. I’ve decided that I am going to do this as a weekly routine now. I’m going to light candles, put on music, pour a glass of wine and sit down with myself over dinner and just enjoy.

I hope that you had a great Valentine’s Day and if you want to share, comment below, I would love to hear about it!

K.

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A Tale From Tinder

Hello Everyone,

Seeing as we are about to get the snow storm of the ages up in here, I thought that I would make your day even better by telling you one of my dating experiences from Tinder.

When I just moved into the apartment I was in now I decided to join Tinder because that was the thing to do. I didn’t know what Bumble was at the time and OKCupid was just creeping me out, it still creeps me out to this day.
I matched with someone on there and lets name him “Ricky”. Ricky and I hit it off right away, had similar interests and decided to meet up at a local burger joint ( not fast food, I just don’t want to name drop too much incase I become famous and they think I don’t like the establishment #don’ttheyknowhoIthinkIam ) and grab some food. Things were going off well, aside from the fact that he claims he didn’t have time after work to get changed and showed up in sweatpants… At that time I had a pixie cut and he kept asking me if I was a lesbian or not, clearly stereotyping which I found annoying and rude. He apologized and we continued with our date. Things were really looking up till he kept dropping things about past relationships that were really starting to bother be but again I pushed it aside to enjoy the evening.

*I am going to say now that I am not proud that I kept dating him for three months but lets us continue with this mess* *Grab some popcorn…with Himalayan Salt… it’s good..*

After that date we starting just dating casually, I did not want a relationship from him but towards the end of our 3 month summer warmance… I was like, you got to go dude. He said that the only way he would date me is if I agree that he was allowed a threesome once a year for every year we were together. I had to also agree that we would try having a relationship with another person to form a triad. I am totally fine if that is what other people’s lives are like but they are not mine. I quickly shut him down and told him to leave my house. Keep in mind we were even intimate at this time so when he was mentioning these things…I pretty much wanted to swear off dating because he almost broke me that much.

Side note: Ricky was a good guy when he wasn’t making really dumb and stupid comments and demands. He was very attentive and would support me when I was having a bad day but he was also just a lumbering narcissistic doorknob.

Some time after that I was in a relationship with “Ghost Boy”, whom I will do a post on that at another time, and Ricky kept sending me unsolicited messages, snaps, and pictures when I was in the relationship and wasn’t taking no as an answer. I had to report him to SnapChat regarding this, blocked him on all forms of media, etc. He was one of the worse people to explain what no means after saying no 50,000 times.

As of recently he showed up on my Bumble as a potential match and I quickly reported him and blocked him in hopes that his account will be deleted and he is locked out. I don’t want any other poor soul have to deal with his crap.

So Ricky, if you are reading this or if you are capable of reading full paragraphs instead of just things like “wanna see my dick”, stop dating.

Hope you enjoyed that little snack of my one and only Tinder experience.

K.

It’s Been A While

Hey there!

It has been a really long time since my last post… I am sorry for that… Things got crazy!

I moved into my new apartment that I am still currently living in with my wonderful roommate..my dog. We have both been enjoying this apartment and will be celebrating the 2 year anniversary of the move in date in May. The longest anniversary I have every had in my life.

During my time away I have had a lot of downs vs a lot of ups in my life. I had to take a break from a lot of things to really come to terms with everything I went through from heartaches to heartbreaks and open heart surgery ( that would be my dad who had open heart surgery ). During the mist of this demonic year of sh*it I lost my job but within 24 hours I was employed at another position so I only had a good day to go through the basic stages of loosing a job which was panic, crying, denial, resume updating, and drinking. On the very last day of my job I had a migraine and told Advil and had a sever allergic reaction that I had to be brought to the hospital and given a lot of steroids to calm that down. I was released 4 hours later completely ‘roided out and wanting a lot of food. Four days later I started my new job.

Towards my 30th birthday things really began to look up. I join a dating site again (stayed tuned for that post) and met a wonderful man but it didn’t work out due to distance and our conflicting job schedules…. O.K his job schedule was conflicting and he ended up ghosting me a week before Christmas…. like…this is a pattern it seems.

You may be wondering what started off my craptastic year and that was when my boyfriend at the time (January 2018) and I went through a private issue that resulting in him ghosting me and I never heard from him again. The circumstances of him ghosting me was so effing stupid and still makes me angry to this day. Not so much it detours me from dating again but more so him as a person and his action of ending our relationship…

As of right now I am on a dating site and currently doing an experiment that gives me further intel in to the world of online dating. I am wanting to see match rates, response rates, etc on this dating app as well as another one. Right now I am on Bumble so I have to message first and I think I will choose OKCupid next because yes, they can message me first but I can see it before matching with them so it shows me the “interest” rate that I get. I may seem complex but it’s all in my spreadsheet that really explains it all. I want to see out of a certain amount of matches a day and with me sending messages, how many of those are responded to, how many unmatch with me after my message and how many of the conversations die off or result in asking for a date. I am interested to see the overall number at the end of the week of people I matched with and how many responses I get. I am genuinely interested in meeting someone so it works in my favour for research and for meeting people.

Hope all is well with everyone and catch you with the next blog!

 

K.

I Moved!…Again…

Hello there casual readers,

It has been roughly over a month since I have written anything. To be honest, I completely forgot about my lovely little blog till this morning. I am that kind of person it seems.

I have moved into my place. I have to say it feels more like home over the previous apartment. I have gone by the apartment building a couple times. I don’t feel any longing to be there. I don’t feel any sadness. I feel anger towards it due to the horrible managers that ran that place and treated me terribly. I don’t miss my neighbor who was from jail and apart of a government funded program of re-introducing previously incarcerated men back into society. I never felt safe there and that is why my dad had to install a dead bolt on my door just weeks after I moved in a year ago.

In this new place I have the comfort of knowing my landlord and his family are upstairs. They check in with me via text or if I happen to be in the backyard with the dog. It’s nice having that sort of relationship with a person since you are staying in their basement. That is also the thing, it doesn’t feel like a basement. I feel like I am in a condo because of how beautifully renovated the unit is. It’s so much space for me to just do what I want to do and not feel confined like the previous place where everything was so boxed in.

Things I have learned since moving is that I hate moving. I am great at packing and organizing but if someone asks me to move a box I will find something else to do. I just don’t like lifting. It’s not my thing.

I also feel more like an adult because I do have my own space, my own bills and a place that I can call a home. I don’t plan on leaving any time soon because of how great the unit is and the neighborhood. The next time I move will be into my own house. That is my plan!

Public Transit

I have been on a rampage all day with this whole Presto Card and OC Transpo nonsense.

If you are a person who takes transit to and from work, you are familiar with PRESTO and that you load your card with money and tap it when you get on the bus. You very well know it takes 24 hours for your card to load BUT you don’t know this till you get on the bus and tap it.

I loaded my card on Saturday evening knowing I won’t be using this card until Monday morning, well over the 24 hour time that is noted on each confirmation email you are sent 20 minutes after adding funds.

I get onto the bus first, in front of 12 other people for my card to read NOT ENOUGH FUNDS on the red screen. I try to tape it again and the drivers shouts at me that there isn’t enough funds and to stop taping it. I get defensive and pull out the email from Saturday saying there is money. The driver continues to shout at me saying it takes 24-48 hours for the funds to read on the card. WHERE DID THIS 48 HOUR RULE COME FROM NOW?! After the driver scolded me further he let me have a seat on the bus. I was overly embarrassed and couldn’t wait to get off the bus.

This is not the first time it has happened to be. I put on $50 last month two days in advance knowing that it again takes 24 hours for it to read not enough funds the next day. This is when I still had $10 on the card and loaded $50 more on to it. The driver this time shouted at me as HE WAS DRIVING AWAY and telling me to get off the bus. I got off the bus alright, in a thunderstorm.

I am emailed OC Transpo with the complaint of the rudeness of the driver from this morning and also Presto as to what the correct answer is to the wait time of funds to be on my pass.

As a person with anxiety you want to stay on top of this so you don’t have to go through this or seeing that red screen. It’s the same with worrying your bank card being declined when you know you have money.

I am very displeased with the actions that OC Transpo has taken and the lack of response I have been given towards my complaint as I would like for it to be taken seriously.

 

Fat Shaming

I was fat shamed twice this morning before it even hit 7:15am.

I am wearing a┬áblack skirt that hits just above my knee, a tucked in green tank top, a sweater and hair of knee high brown boots. I was feeling pretty confident today because it was the first time I wasn’t hiding my body behind leggings and long over sized shirts.

I was heading to my bus and I see a familiar couple waiting at the bus stop. I see that they are looking at me and talking to themselves. I am not bothered by it because people talk to one another all the time. It wasn’t until I stand next to them that the wife tells her husband that people my size shouldn’t be wearing the clothes I am because is shows ever lump and bump. I was mortified. I never had people talk about my size before let alone say it loud enough for me to hear it. I get on the bus and move on.

20 minutes later…

I just grabbed my coffee and was walking to my next bus stop to grab my connecting bus. My skirt has a mind of its own and decided to just hike up a little bit. I wasn’t able to adjust because I was walking and had a cup of coffee in my hands. The next thing I hear is a woman saying “excuse me” over and over until I realize she is talking to me. She wanted to politely point out that I should pull down my skirt because the sight of my thighs is not flattering and she just continues walking. I stop dead and happen to look in the window of a store to see myself and that’s when my self esteem joined the trash on the ground.

I have never had people openly comment on my size nor bring it to my attention. I sat here at my desk for the past 20 minutes crying and ruining whatever makeup I applied this morning. I do have insecurities about my body but I have never had them pointed out to me by strangers. I was fat shamed. I never thought that I would be fat shamed.

Once it happens to you all your judgement about yourself goes out the window. You feel broken down, beaten and emotionally wrecked. I didn’t have a snarky comeback that I would have if a man called me unattractive or was upset because I rejected his advances. I was ready for this. No one is ever ready for this.

Online Dating

Hello there,

I have recently joined up with online dating and nothing has changed! It has been two years since I removed myself from putting myself online to draw attention of the opposite sex. I still see the exact same thing now as I did back then:

Men posing with dogs or other animals because ” chicks love dogs”

Men posting with children because ” chicks love kids”

Men not know how to take a decent selfie or get someone take a picture for them so they attempt themselves resulting in a picture that shows their eye and left nostril…sexy.

Out of the 9 men I have matched with this morning one two have messaged me, the rest I assume are waiting for me to message them and to be honest I would but why do I have to initiate everything? If you liked my profile first and I happened to like your second, message me, it’s your turn!

Conversations will either just end because you don’t have anything to talk about or the guy asks you what your underwear looks like.. I just don’t see why they have to do that?! Why can’t they just get to know a girl before getting all pervy about it?

 

I am still going to keep up with the online dating and see what other outcomes I get. This is both for my social life and now a social experiment.

I am going to move…

You read that right, I am going to move.

I loved my apartment in the beginning, which doesn’t seem so long ago. It was cute, it was my first apartment. Got a good deal for it but now….but now…

  1. My neighbor is a one man band that likes to play the electric piano, guitar, drums, and now bongos at all hours of the night. Like this morning, at 4am…jamming away on that damn piano. Yes, my landlords are aware. Yes, they told me if it bothered me to call bylaw. Yes, I called bylaw…6 times now in the past 9 months.
  2. My landlords never come and fix anything. I am still waiting for new closet doors, a drawer to be fixed, the ant problem from that won’t go away because my other neighbors have ant problem, my lining of my bedroom window is completely gone so it’s been real cold this winter.
  3. Children being allowed to run up and down the hallways screaming and knocking on my door and running away.
  4. People smoke in the HALLWAYS OF THE APARTMENT COMPLEX!

Other then that it’s o.k I guess. I mean, I did well for my first time living alone but come on! Half of the people living in my building don’t have jobs and smoke weed all day while the government pays for them to sit at home and smoke weed all day. I know they do because they smoke in the hallways of the apartment instead of inside so when they have their monthly visit from their social worker there isn’t any evidence of it in the apartment… I know this because they told me the other night when we were standing outside because someone set their kitchen on fire and well we had to wait for the fire department to tell us we could go in.

I find out officially on Monday if I get this new place or not. Either way, can not wait to get out of there.

Banking

One of things I really do not like dealing with is banking. Having to call people, access accounts and all that. I wish that I could have all my money under my mattress…then again I really don’t like my building so I would have to find a different mattress.

I am currently on hold with my bank as I cannot use my credit card to put money on my bus pass for me to use. Considering I usually speak to someone right away and there is a hold of 5-10 minutes, some sh*t is going down right now.

I don’t want to be adulting at 8:30pm. I want to be in bed with a bowl of popcorn and enjoying my netflix!

I have done some serious adulting lately with insurance and getting things done for two weddings I am in this summer. There has also been some serious date nights with the boyfriend that involved me dressing like an adult and acting like one, which was nice mind you!

I am finally speaking to a human about my card…

I am a grown adult!

Hello again,

I find it difficult to be treated like an adult when I look like I should be deciding on what prom dress I should be wearing in the spring.

I am cursed/blessed with the face of a teenager but the internal organs of an adult approaching 30. I try my hardest to change my hair, my clothes and my attitude but when someone at a coffee shop tries to cut in front of me and says ” the kid can wait, I have to get to a meeting”… I am not a kid, sir! I am a grown ass woman that just happens to be below average height for my age and still gets carded for vodka!

I don’t know if I need to start going all ” Devil Wears Prada ” on people or simply gain the confidence and attitude Miranda has. I know it’s a weird character to idolize for confidence but seriously…she got what she needed done!

I work in business environment so I dress the part but you can’t tell that on a stormy winter day… I just want to be taken seriously!

Sigh, this is going to be an interesting challenge for a few more years!